How much do you really want that difference? How can you be sure you really want it?
How often do we wish things could be different and believe that life is just the way it is and we cannot change it? How often do we make New Year Resolutions and after a short period of time find we have slipped in to our old behaviours and tell ourselves, that's just the way it is and carry on doing the same things we always did?
Well, guess what? It doesn't have to be this way!
We can choose to think like this or we can choose to think differently and when we choose to think differently, we really can make the changes we want in our lives and achieve our dreams and much much more!...
There is always a choice, often from many options, they may be ones you think are not for you but what if they are? What would happen if these are possible choices you can choose?
Using Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) as a model for making changes in my life has really made the difference for myself and my family, it has not necessarily made life easier; when we want change, it is something we must work at and that work starts with you changing your habits, your way of thinking, your state of mind, your communication and behaviours! You have to make that difference!
This last two years, whilst training to become an NLP Master Practitioner and Life Coach, specialising in Coaching Families living with Autism, I have explored changing my habits, my thinking, my communication and my behaviours in situations where I was repeatedly getting stuck in situations that were causing a downward spiral towards stress and misery for myself and my whole family. I have discovered how very different even the smallest changes in my responses to others can make to their communication and behaviour and how the final outcome can be very different from previous similar scenarios and times where the results have been in a one way unwanted direction!
The most important change I have made to myself has been to notice how the meanings I create of situations, others behaviours and communication affect my communication to myself and how this affects my behaviour towards myself and others and how much this affects the outcome of any reoccurring situation...
It can be so easy to assume that someone means something when they say or do something! We really do not know unless we ask them directly or if they are not able to verbally communicate or communicate in any way, ask ourselves,
'What else could that mean? ...and what else could that mean?....and what else?...and what else?
One very useful model in NLP is one which helps you to make well-informed decisions and create well-formed outcomes and has been researched and published in a peer-reviewed Education Journal and concludes,
compared to SMART goals and targets -
'well-formed outcomes offer a more rigorous and holistic approach, by taking greater account of the learner's identity, affective dimensions (feelings and emotions), social relations and values, as well as encouraging mental rehearsal. (Day & Tosey, 2011)
* How many New Year Resolutions have you achieved and kept going?
* Where will you be tonight when you are making your resolution/s for 2015?
* Where do you want to be on 31st December 2015 when you are making more Resolutions for the next year in your life? Where you are now or closer to your destiny?
Here is how you can achieve what you want in 2015...
* Find as many answers as you can to all the questions, whether you think they are relevant to your choice or not!
* When you think you have found all the possible answers, you need to search for more - there is always more!....and these are the ones which will make the difference!
* You may want to get a pen and paper to write down ALL your answers? ... (They can be just one word answers).
First, state what it is you want in 2015 in positive terms.
Make it
specific and ensure you are not stating what it is you no longer want or
don't want!
* How will it feel to have what you want?
* What will it look like?
* What will you be hearing when you have it?
* Have you already had a taste of it and want more of it?
* How will it smell?
Where do you want this outcome? Who do you want it with? By when do you want to have it?
* What will you gain and lose by getting what you want? (Remember! There is always something to lose when there is something to gain!)
* How will your resolution affect others? What will they gain and lose by you achieving and sustaining your 2015 resolution?
* What do you need to be able to achieve your resolution?
* What do you need to sustain it?
*How can you get what you need to achieve and sustain it?
* How important is this resolution to you on a scale of 1-9?
* Why is it important to you?
* What difference will it make to who you are by achieving and sustaining this resolution?
If you believe you can achieve this New Year Resolution now and you have or can find the resources you need and you can do what you need to do to achieve and sustain it t make the changes in your life where you want them...What are you waiting for?
GO FOR IT! ...Life is what YOU make it!
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